Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You Like Him, Does He Like You?

So you found him. He is an attractive man who you love to be with and you two have met a couple times. You feel comfortable around him. And you start to think of him most of the time. Now you found out that the more you met and get to know him, the more you like him.

But you are not very sure about one thing. Does he feel the way you feel? Does he like you too? He might not express what he feels. But you could find the answer by paying attention when you and him together. There are some sign to know that he interested in you.

  1. He shows affection by his body language. Light touch on your shoulder, put his hand on your arm when laughing, and take your hand for a short time when he ask you to walk with him. They are shows that he wants to get closer to you.
  2. He pays attention to your interest. He notice what you like and what you don’t like. Try to get involved with things you like and avoid what you don’t like.
  3. He calls you often, sometimes for no reasons. Actually he only wants to hear your voice.
  4. He searches for your reaction first when he says something funny and people are laughing. His eyes will flicker to you for a second to see if you laughed too.
  5. He gets nervous and looks another way quickly if you happened to catch him watching you.
  6. The very important sign is in his eyes when he looked at you. As a woman, you can feel there is something special from the look in his eyes. You can see his eyes shine, you can even feel that his eyes smile when he smile to you. Don’t ignore that feeling. It’s a strong sign that you both are in love.

Now that you know what he feels about you, you can move forward with no doubt to show your affection.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

How to get appreciation from others

What is the secret to establishing and maintaining great relationships with various types of people? There are several things that you can do when associating with other people.

One of these is to make them feel accepted. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of our basic needs as human is to feel a sense of belonging to a group. It could be either small groups like a family and small circle of friends, or big groups like clubs, teams, associations, departments and parties.

One way to convey acceptance of people’s ideas is by simply listening. Listening communicates the message that their thoughts are valued and their inputs are significant. It answers the very basic need to belong and provides a sense of importance, because people have to feel they belong and are needed.

Have you ever been in any of the following situations?

- While sharing an important concept, somebody would finish the sentence for you.

- When talking about what happened on the weekend, somebody would butt in and tell a similar story.

- Your boss would cut you short while you are still explaining your side.

- You ask your child about his day in school and he runs straight to his room.

- You wanted to discuss something with your spouse but he is busy watching TV

This kind of situation can make people feel frustrated. It’s as if you are taken for granted. It’s as if no one is listening to you and that you do not matter. It signifies that your thoughts, concerns, and ideas are not accepted.

At the beginning of his life, an infant can feel this sense of acceptance from a mother who touches and caresses him in a loving way. As he grows older, his sense of acceptance and importance now comes from other family members, friends, teachers, peers, bosses, officemates, spouse, children, etc. Every person needs to be accepted. It puts meaning to a person’s existence.

Acceptance must be done unconditionally. The giver should not expect anything in return. There should be no “any strings attached” or no commitments to fulfill. To expect something in return defeats the purpose of making others like you. In fact, this may only breed resentment, for it would appear that you are manipulating people by forcing them into a situation they may not like in the future.

Unconditional acceptance of other people’s thoughts, ideas, and concerns can yield favorable outcomes. Acceptance elicits cooperation and this leads to working towards a common goal. Acceptance yields positive and fruitful results. At the same time, you have raised the esteem, importance, and morale of the person whom you have accorded respect and acceptance.

Be willing to accept other people’s ideas, thoughts, and inputs. You will harvest not only good results, but also the admiration and appreciation of others, as well.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

5 Tips For an Amazing Relationship

1# Make Time For Your Relationship Time and time again, people tell me my ideas are wonderful, but they feel they can't be as loving or romantic as I am because they don't have enough hours in the day. I have the same amount of time given to me each day as everyone else does. It's how I prioritize the time that might be different. Besides my relationship with my Creator, my time spent with Athena is most important to me. More important than my job. More important than the money I make. More important than exercise. More important than my friends or other family members. And yes, even more important than Ashton, my darling little son. I am not against nice items for those who can afford them and don't have to work insane hours to attain them. But I am slightly perplexed by those who work too many hours or have a long daily commute just so they can have "things," not realizing they are losing something that is even more valuable and precious. 2# Share Secrets Together I've got a secret and I'm not sharing. Actually, I have a lot of secrets. There are a lot of things that are only known to Athena and me. That keeps us close. I like it when Athena shares things with me that she doesn't share with others. It makes me feel special and unique in her eyes. I tell her things that I don't tell my friends or family. It's not like these are horrible things we have done that we can't tell others. I just want Athena to feel like she knows me better than anyone else. Make your sweetheart feel special. Always share important things with them first. Let some things remain a secret between the two of you for a little while before letting the rest of the world know all about your personal life. 3# Have Date Nights Without special time together, relationships can pull apart or simply become stale. But you can't simply replace doing nothing with doing the exact same thing week after week. The - oh-so-predictable - dinner and a movie can be all right if mixed up with some other types of dates. Here are a few suggestions: Bookstore, library, museum, zoo or park date, or together collect clothes for a shelter. 4# Spice Up Your Love Life If you find that sex is becoming very sporadic in your relationship (and you are not happy with that) consider scheduling "sex nights." Just like date nights, schedule one or two days each week for physical intimacy. Some people find the idea of planned sex off-putting at first, but later come to anticipate the weekly ritual. Having sex planned in advance makes for prolonged foreplay! 5# Get Your Debt Under Control If you want to have a blissful relationship, you will need to get your debt under control (or at least a plan to do so). Otherwise, your debt will control you and affect you physically and psychologically. When you get a paycheck, the first thing you should do is set aside money for charity/church. Doesn't seem logical, but it works. Sit down with your partner and discuss all aspects of your family budget. Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for your marriage and mate. If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn't buy those items and had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and your future? About the Author: Michael Webb is the author of 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships to help you create the perfect relationship. For more information, visit 50secret.

The Ability to Be Alone is Key to Having a Good Relationship

by Chandra Alexander Are you staying in a bad relationship because you're afraid of being alone? If the prospect of being alone scares you more than the unhealthy relationship you're in, learn why the ability to be alone is actually the key ingredient to having a good relationship and a good life. 1. Nothing is lonelier than being in an unloving relationship. -It is one thing to get lonely when you are by yourself. You look around and no one is there. -It is another thing to lie next to your partner in bed and feel all alone. -Nothing is lonelier than that. 2. To know what makes you feel good, you must spend time alone. -There is only one way to know who you are really are - you must spend time alone. -Alone time allows us to quiet all those other voices in our head other than our own. For the first time we are then able to hear our own voice. -So much of the time we are busy trying to figure out how to make the other person like us; we need time alone to figure out how we can like ourselves. 3. Things come out when you are alone - that is good. -Being alone, eventually the mind begins to quiet down and things that were in darkness begin to come to the light. -Our frame of reference narrows; we become Self-referring, i.e., we look inside for the answers, rather than outside, to others. 4. Everyone feels lonely sometimes - this is natural and normal. -Loneliness is part of the human condition. It is the existential slice of life that can never be changed; you will always feel lonely at times. -Being lonely is different than being alone. Being alone is a choice that we make because we enjoy our own company. 5. If you can be alone, you have inner strength. -You also have self-esteem and self respect. Sign up now for Chandra's FREE daily email "Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH" and purchase Chandra's books and CDs. Article Source: WAHM Articles

How to Tell If Someone is Lying By Looking at Their Eye Patterns

How to Tell If Someone is Lying By Looking at Their Eye Patterns By Drew Lilley

Are you being lied to? Are you being cheated on? You can put all of that to an end just by taking the time to learn this pivotal information about eye patterns. NLP research has proven that every direction your eyes look while your speaking, or being spoken to are being dictated by the subconscious mind. You can use this information to know how to tell if someone is lying.

Many people make the common mistake of accusing people of being liars solely based on the fact that they are not making eye contact with them. This could be true, but most likely is not. "If a person does not maintain eye contact while you are talking to them, they are lying." This is a myth that's been around for a while, and should be debunked. Their could actually be several reasons a person does not maintain eye contact. For example, they have social disabilities, or they can just be nervous. Anyways, here is what all the eye patterns mean.

To the right- When a persons eyes shift to the right, they are constructing an auditory thought. (your left)

Up and to the left- visually remembered image (your right)

Up and to the right- visually constructed image (your left)

To the left- auditory memory

Down and to the right- creating a feeling or sensory impression.

Down and to the left- a person will look this way when they "talk to themselves"

You can use this information to help you catch a liar because typically if someone looks to the right, they are creating a lie, and if they are looking to the left, they are remembering something. While someone is telling a story, they will usually look up and to the left, or up and to the right. Try these eye patterns yourselves, by testing them on your peers, friends, or family! All you have to do is create some questions. For example. If i wanted to test the eye pattern "up and to the right" you could devise a question like this: "Can you imagine a cow with a pigs head?" This forces them to visually construct an image in their head.

http://www.humanliedetection.com

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Can We Talk?

By H. Les Brown

Yes, if you've ever in your life seen a Joan Rivers routine, you've certainly heard "Can we talk?" The question I'd like to ask the midlife world today is, "OK . . . can we???"

Last Thursday night's guest on my internet radio program was relationship expert, Kathleen Sims, and she talked about the sorts of things that go to make up a successful relationship, especially at midlife. She was very willing to go beyond the kinds of hype that other relationship gurus seem to be using (the kind of promotion that says, "We guarantee that if you follow our easy 3-step program, your relationship will achieve instant perfection!"). We talked about how, as relationships mature, the challenges actually deepen.

In this context, she revealed a startling bit of personal experience: as part of the mentoring that she provides to couples, she has several times offered workshops on communication. Remarkably, she has had little success convincing people to attend. Both she and I have had similar experiences: in general, people seems reluctant to handle the basic fundamental things that are required to create the life that they want. This can be a devastating deficiency at midlife: failing to take care of yourself properly can catapult you into a crisis situation that has the potential to destroy your career, your relationship(s) and/or your health unnecessarily. So . . . can we talk?

Communication forms the very essence of any relationship. Of course we'll have many relatives (face it: we're stuck with them) in our lives, but that doesn't mean that we will have a relationship with them. They're like many of the items in our safe deposit box: we have to keep them, but we don't need to deal with them. Some people (falsely) assume that, just because you're married to someone, you necessarily have a relationship with him or her. When imagining that you have a relationship with someone else, it's as though you imagine, in Kathleen's inspired terms, that birth or marriage or civil union has merged the two of you into a sort of conglomerate. If you imagine yourself as a circle and your relationship-partner (by birth or in law) as a second circle, you may think that your relationship causes the circles to merge. I have to agree with Kathleen that, in fact, they do not. Instead, there's a third circle that represents your relationship, and it 'belongs' to neither one of you, but to both of you.

That third circle that we call 'relationship' is not natural, it's created and sustained by the decisions and actions that both of you take. Those decisions and actions determine whether or not there will be communication. Here's the simple 'bottom line': if there's no communication, there's no relationship regardless whether you're parent-child, siblings, life partners, or just friends. You can't be in a relationship by default. You're either working at it (by continually learning to communicate and practicing what you've learned), or it doesn't exist at all. You don't have to have a court order to 'divorce' your husband, wife, partner, father, mother, sibling, partner, friend; all you need to do to have an effective divorce is to stop talking about what's really important to you.

As usual in this midlife 'game', men have a tougher time at this than women do, and in both directions: we haven't been raised to share our deeper thoughts and feelings, nor have we been taught the skills of active, empathetic listening. We too often replace real understanding and empathy - real communication - with the 'right answers': "Yes, dear," or "OK," or "Yup . . . understood." There are so many nice and agreeable responses that we men can make that feign listening. We use them in our work situations all the time. They're empathy surrogates: they're meant to make it appear that we're doing what we know we're not: listening. We know the difference. We man know when we're really telling you the truth; and very often it scares us to death!

Midlife can't be successfully navigated without fully engaging in the never-ending struggle to learn to communicate more effectively. It means learning to tell you who I am and what's going on with me. It also means listening to you at a level that goes far beyond your words: recognizing that, for example, when you're upset, it's about you and not about me. It's a life-long task to learn to extract the meaning from the words, especially when that meaning has little to do with what the words mean. The task very often involves listening with the heart and blocking out the head - particularly in very intimate relationships.

You may be saying, "I don't need to learn how to communicate! After all, I've been doing it since before I learned to talk!" Or do you? Too often, our fear and our pride keep us away from working on the 'basics', as though learning to communicate with others was like learning to feed yourself: once you've got it, you've got it. That attitude leaves many people foundering with a childish skill level in adult situations. We feel like those we most need to have a relationship with "just don't understand us," whereas it's most often we who are unable to tell them what we need or even what's going on with us. People who love us very often don't understand because we're incapable of telling telling them what they need to know. In relationships, as in every other facet of life - particularly in the midlife transition - it's much easier for us to blame others for not 'getting' us than it is for us to do the hard work necessary to learn how to tell them what we need for them to know.

Midlife severely affects three areas of your life: 1) your career, 2) your relationships, and 3) your health and well-being. If any one of those areas isn't working for you right now, you need to take a deeper look at yourself. Pointing fingers at others will do nothing to get you out of whatever situation you find yourself in. You alone are responsible for your relationships. What do you need to do - to change - to make these things work. Dumping them should be a resort taken only when it makes no sense to continue (usually because the other person in the relationship has decided not to do the work to maintain his or her part of the relationship).

One final note about relationships: don't imagine that having a deep and vital relationship means that things will always go smoothly between you. They won't. Growth only comes from meeting (and grappling with) challenges and obstacles. A 'relationship' that has no friction or disagreements is most often that way because it lacks real intimacy. In fact, I'd be willing to go out on a limb here and say that the more vital and intimate a relationship is, the more challenging the struggles that ensue. Likewise, the more difficult the midlife transition from adulthood to maturity proves to be, the richer and fuller the maturity will become. Can we talk? Hang in there: don't quit before the miracle happens!

H. Les Brown, MA, CFCC
ProActivation® Coaching
Website: http://www.MidlifeMaster.com
E-Mail: info@ProActivation.com

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Copyright © 2009 H. Les Brown

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Earn His Love by Being His Best Friend

Earn His Love by Being His Best Friend By Tina L. Jones
Once you have met the guy that you think might be the one, you will want to know how to earn his love. But can you really do that, or is it all up to fate? While it is true that you cannot force someone who is not meant to love you into caring about you, you can urge the right guy into falling even faster. Here is how to earn his love... Too many women get so hung up on worrying about their physical appearance that they actually come off as even less attractive to men. For instance, women who pile on too much make-up or dress in ways that are not appropriate are not usually taken very seriously by men. This is because despite the fact that men can be incredibly shallow when it comes to looking at girls, they only want to be serious with girls who have more to offer than just great looks. Men want to be with women who are their friends as well as their lovers. If you want to earn his love and make him yours, be his best friend. A best friend is someone that you could picture yourself doing almost anything with because you get along so well and really complement each other. So go out with him and take part in his hobbies and show interest in the things that interest him. So what if you never pictured yourself as the type of girl who enjoys foreign films? If they are something that he loves, go see one with him. You may enjoy it more than you ever thought that you would and you will earn his love when he sees that you are willing to try new things just for him.
Imagine what if you could make any man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you? Click Unforgettable Woman Advice and learn 77 Secrets that ninety percent of women have never heard. You have got to see this! This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Trouble Making a Commitment?

Trouble Making a Commitment? by Chandra Alexander Do you have trouble making a commitment and once you’ve made one, can you keep it? In order to commit, it is important to examine the fears that keep you from truly stepping-up in a relationship. 1. Recognize familiar patterns. Have you heard the same complaints and do you say the same things? -Be brutally honest with yourself. If you keep making excuses for why you cannot keep moving closer in this relationship, you need to acknowledge that these are simply excuses and have no merit. -If there is not a gradual moving closer in this relationship, than the relationship is not growing. 2. Do you create distance and then move close after you get it? -This is what I call the “dance of intimacy” – apart-together, apart-together. -Closeness automatically conveys a sense of better getting to know another person. If you do not know and like yourself, you will never want another to really get close to you and will sabotage that closeness. -Once you create distance and feel “safe”, you will have enough space and then make the move to get close again. This is a pattern that will continue until you take responsibility for the “dance”. 3. Do not use being selective as an excuse not to commit. Both are possible. -Oftentimes I hear from clients that they are very “picky” and that is the reason they cannot make a commitment. It is possible to have good taste and still be able to make a commitment. -When you are ready and open for love, your criteria becomes more expansive, while at the same time being particular. -In other words, your compassion and forgiveness increase while at the same time you know more what works for you. 4. Does real intimacy scare you? Do you really want to know another person and do you want them to know you? -How open are you? Do you really feel comfortable enough in your own skin to bring another person close to you? Do you like who you are? If you don’t, you will never allow another person close to you. -Being close to someone, means by default, that they will become privy to your inner-most secrets. If you have not made peace with your dark side, you will always push someone away as they get close to you. 5. Real commitment comes from the heart, not from the head. -The head can never take you the distance. It is only your heart (your inner Self) that has your best interests at heart. -It does not matter how much money someone has, how big a house is offered – when the lights go down- it’s just the two of you. -Choose out of the utmost respect. Sign up now for Chandra's FREE daily email "Cutting Through to THE REAL TRUTH" and purchase Chandra's books and CDs. Article Source: WAHM Articles