How to get appreciation from others

What is the secret to establishing and maintaining great relationships with various types of people? There are several things that you can do when associating with other people.

One of these is to make them feel accepted. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of our basic needs as human is to feel a sense of belonging to a group. It could be either small groups like a family and small circle of friends, or big groups like clubs, teams, associations, departments and parties.

One way to convey acceptance of people’s ideas is by simply listening. Listening communicates the message that their thoughts are valued and their inputs are significant. It answers the very basic need to belong and provides a sense of importance, because people have to feel they belong and are needed.

Have you ever been in any of the following situations?

- While sharing an important concept, somebody would finish the sentence for you.

- When talking about what happened on the weekend, somebody would butt in and tell a similar story.

- Your boss would cut you short while you are still explaining your side.

- You ask your child about his day in school and he runs straight to his room.

- You wanted to discuss something with your spouse but he is busy watching TV

This kind of situation can make people feel frustrated. It’s as if you are taken for granted. It’s as if no one is listening to you and that you do not matter. It signifies that your thoughts, concerns, and ideas are not accepted.

At the beginning of his life, an infant can feel this sense of acceptance from a mother who touches and caresses him in a loving way. As he grows older, his sense of acceptance and importance now comes from other family members, friends, teachers, peers, bosses, officemates, spouse, children, etc. Every person needs to be accepted. It puts meaning to a person’s existence.

Acceptance must be done unconditionally. The giver should not expect anything in return. There should be no “any strings attached” or no commitments to fulfill. To expect something in return defeats the purpose of making others like you. In fact, this may only breed resentment, for it would appear that you are manipulating people by forcing them into a situation they may not like in the future.

Unconditional acceptance of other people’s thoughts, ideas, and concerns can yield favorable outcomes. Acceptance elicits cooperation and this leads to working towards a common goal. Acceptance yields positive and fruitful results. At the same time, you have raised the esteem, importance, and morale of the person whom you have accorded respect and acceptance.

Be willing to accept other people’s ideas, thoughts, and inputs. You will harvest not only good results, but also the admiration and appreciation of others, as well.